Monday, 28 May 2012

Blog 20: In the words of Dizzee Rascal "Get away from the bar...."

Unless you’ve been living like a hermit, you’ll know that last weekend was absolutely BOILING hot.
I even have the strap marks to prove it!
Everyone loves the sunshine. Fact.
Summer dress, dove body milk tan, toe nails painted, beached-waves hair style…..
All I need now is a beer garden with a nice glass of Pimms.
‘I’ll meet you  at the bar at 1pm’ my friend had text on Saturday morning.
Now excuse me for sounding like a bit of a tart, but there’s something about the sunshine that, at much as I hate to admit it, makes even the chaviest of men look like Brad Pitt.
And so; Sunshine + Beer Garden = pretty much the best place to meet Mr Right?
It’s the ideal setting.
You want to meet a guy so you go to a place that has a variety of Y-chromosomes packed into 2000 square feet.
All single, all looking, all ready to buy you a drink and get to know you.
On paper it would seem that a bar or club is the ideal place to meet someone.
However, we all know the reality of this situation.
Just this weekend my friend met a guy in a bar.
He was tall, and cute, and had the most adorable Irish accent (Man, those accents are hard to resist!)
They talked and laughed, drank and danced , whilst I stood talking to his seemingly lifeless friend.
She was interested, he was mesmerized; so much so that I had now become engrossed in Draw Something to pass the time.
He asked for her number, she gladly obliged.
A seemingly perfect first meeting.
Until about 3 hours later when we saw him snogging the face off some other girl on the dance floor.
Yet another example of how bars and clubs are not good places to meet your next boyfriend.
“But wait a minute!!” I hear you say matter-of-factly “My bestfriend met her boyfriend in a bar and now they’re engaged. And he is lovely, smart, kind, nice, perfect boyfriend material. So meeting a boy in a bar can’t be that bad?”
Fair play. You’ve got a good point.
The truth is that yes, you can absolutely meet the love of your life at a bar or club.
Yes, that’s right, you can.
Your best friend is the living proof of it.
We just have to realise that that it’s not the venue itself that’s the problem.
It’s just the copious amounts of alcohol, the beer goggles and our ”pick me, pick me” attitudes that seem to fuck things up a little bit.
So here goes, a girls guide to meeting Mr. Right in a bar.
Firstly, timing is everything:
Remember the fairytale story Cinderella? The number one rule for that damsel in distress was to leave the ball at 12pm otherwise her carriage would turn to a pumpkin and her horse guards into rats.
Well, the same goes for guys. 
Depending on what time you are out on the scene will determine what kind of guy you are going to find once you’re there.
If you are on the prowl starting at 10 p.m. and going until three in the morning, don’t be surprised if you constantly meet flakes, drunks and professional partiers – basically horse guards that turn into Rats 
If, however, you hit the bars for happy hour (anytime between 5-10 pm) you are more likely to meet a good, quality guy.  The reason is simple.  You aren’t as drunk, which means you’re well composed and thinking logically. Suddenly the guy who’s doing a strip tease on the bar doesn’t look exactly like Channing Tatum!
The guys you meet in a bar before 10pm are the guys that make good boyfriends.
Secondly, beware of the guy who knows the world and his wife!
If you haven’t watched “How I met your Mother” then get out from under your rock and go sit in front of your TV right now. 
There’s a character in it called Barney.
Barney is the womanizing Lothario that loiters around his local bar, McClarens, scoping out the ladies, and targeting his next score.
He’s there every night (yes even before 10pm). 
He is a regular.  A fixture, if you will. 
He is also to be avoided. 
If you come across a guy that claims the bar is his second home then you should pay for your drink and be on your way, or have him pay for your drink and be on your way, either way don’t stick around and get to know him. 
Men that hang out at bars so frequently they have a regular booth are not marriage material. 
One of my friends learned this the hard way.  She met her ex-boyfriend in Yates in Bolton:
He was a regular. (How you can be attracted to a man that is a regular in Bolton Yates’ is beyond my understanding, but each to their own.)
He was there so often he was invited to their company Christmas party.
At first it seemed like fun, but there are only so many weekends you can spend in Yates - especially Yates’ in Bolton!
If she wasn’t there drinking sour apple Corkys and pitchers of Woo Woo with him, then she was at home wondering where he was (even though she knew), and fighting with him to stop going out. 
She was constantly alone, frustrated and angry.
Eventually she gave him an ultimatum: It’s me or Yates (in Bolton).
I’m still not sure how she ever got over the fact he chose Yates! (Not even a slug and lettuce) over her!
At first it could seem an attractive quality – a guy that everyone knows and is treated like royalty whenever he makes an appearance. 
He doesn’t have to wait in line to get in, gets his drinks for free, and knows the bartenders first and last names…
But this is not what you want in a boyfriend.
Finally, not all bars are the same.
Choose your venue wisely.
If you’re looking to meet Mr Right then maybe go somewhere you can have an actual conversation, and not somewhere you have to grind like dog on heat just to get an ounce of attention.
I don't want to sound like a granny, but places with loud music, smoke machines and fancy lighting tend to attract the party-going types.  Likewise, bars that are rowdy, noisy and crowded will make meeting someone all the more difficult. 
Try your local pub or a slightly quieter bar. I can’t promise you will always meet guys there, but your chances of meeting Mr. Right will be better and you will be able to weed out the creeps faster!
To sum it up, can you meet Mr Right in a bar? Absolutely yes.
But you have to know when, how and what to look for. Without the beer goggles on!

1 comment:

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